It's September! Don't Sweat It!

Sure, technically we are now in meteorological Fall and astronomical Fall is less than three weeks away, but we all know Fall is an elusive critter. It is hotter outside than it was for most of July, and now the freaking pools are closed. Take heart though, things are changing quick. The poplar leaves are starting to turn yellow, the lily pads are turning brown, and we are seriously listening to people that say "the best offense is a good defense".

Yes, there are a million things to love about the coming fall, but since this is an outdoor blog, I will refrain from talking about Oktoberfest beer and pumpkin spice candles. We might still be a few weeks away from real fall weather, but there is still plenty to do.

1) Time to get back in the woods - For the past three months, if it didn't involve swimming, most outdoor activities were pretty miserable. Now the mornings and some of the afternoons are getting more bearable and the drier weather is making the bugs not quite as bad. I actually went on a trail run this past weekend. Fortunately there were mountain bikers on the same circuit. I thanked them for knocking down all the spider webs.

2) Filling out the calendar - Fall is always a busy time, and the weeks fill up quick. Once you start filling out the dates of football games, fall break trips, hunting seasons, and Halloween activities; the free weekends start looking pretty sparse.  So far I have managed to nail down some dates for a backpacking trip in November and a trail race in October. And remember on the backpacking trips, all of Tennessee State parks as well as the Smokies have gone to an online reservation system for permits. Because everyone else loves fall too (evidenced by the 500 people I saw on the AT last October), reserve your place as soon as possible.

3) Collecting fire pit firewood - In the fall, there is nothing like grilling and eating outside in the late afternoon/early evening.  And there is nothing that completes those afternoons and nights like a good fire pit. Those s'mores aren't going to make themselves. And you don't want to get caught making a wimpy little fire because you are low on firewood. Sure you can buy firewood, but why would you pay $6 for 4 sticks, when you can get it free? You don't need to fell a 100 foot tree with a chainsaw, all you need is a $20 bow saw and some sweat equity. You don't have to have a lot of trees in your yard, just keep your eyes open when you are driving. With the end of the summer storms, free firewood is piled on the side of the road everywhere. I have been "salvaging" limbs off this one blown down tree in our neighborhood for weeks, and nobody has called the police yet! Sure, you look like a deranged lumberjack when you are standing on the shoulder of the road, hacking at a pile of limbs with a saw, but you won't be running to Kroger in the middle of the night to keep your backyard campfire going.

This is barely two or three s'mores worth

So the frost is not quite on the pumpkins yet (and some years it never is), but this is a great time to turn off the TV and start to get outside again. The college football stuff is great, but it can get pretty repetitive. This weekend I heard several very highly paid analyst say about 100 times that Alabama was supposed to have a good football team this year. Who knew?

Say Cheese! Adventures in Outdoor Photography

One of the first digital pictures of our hiking trips, Mt. LeConte 2003

To anyone that knows me, it is very obvious that I am the lead planner/instigator in these outdoor shenanigans, but in addition I have also become the primary photographer for most of my trips. As soon as we get back, everyone wants to see the pictures. Especially in today's social media world, if you don't take pictures, what's the point? Joking aside, I really treasure my outdoor trip portfolio. Good pictures not only help you re-live the trip, but share it with others that were not there.  Even before social media and digital cameras, we always got "doubles" printed at Wal-Mart, and passed them around.

In reality, taking pictures in some of these conditions can be difficult. And typically the more difficult the situation is, the better the photo op. I am by no means an expert, but over many years of slinging off my pack or frantically digging through a cargo pocket for my camera when a good shot arose, I have developed a few ideas.

1) Your phone is the best and worst camera you have. Our phone cameras have become awesome. I remember when I first saw the first grainy pictures and video shot with a flip phone. I remember thinking, "The quality is so crappy. What is the point?" Today, we literally all walk around with the some of the best photography equipment in existence in our pocket. The only pieces that are missing are good optics. However; when it comes to outdoor photography, the main problem with a phone camera is that it is attached to your phone. Your phone costs about $800 to replace. I don't care what kind of LifeProof or OtterBox case you have, if you drop it in a river or off a mountain, it is gone, forever. Also, the money part aside, a working phone can very well save your life in an emergency. My usual rules with phones in the back country are to keep them fully charged, turned off, and well protected. It would be extremely unfortunate if you desperately needed rescuing and your phone GPS died early because you spent too much time Instagraming. And even a third negative for using a phone is that I have never really seen many good tripod attachments, which are usually necessary for group shots.

Now, sometimes I do take my phone only for shorter day hikes. But if it is going to involve a longer time, involve water, or bad weather, it is better to leave them in your pack.   

2) The worst pictures are the ones you don't take, so you need to be able to get to your camera. Most of the time, it really is a pain to dig out a camera, but it is always worth it when you can make it work. My main camera on most trips for almost 10 years or so has been a Canon Powershot Digital Elph. It's just a small digital camera with a really good optical zoom. The downside is that it is not water proof or resistant at all and I really have to keep it in a case and inside a plastic bag to protect it. That makes it quite a chore to dig it out. With my new found hobby of river trips, I decided that I had to get something that I could take pictures with and not worry about getting wet. There are a ton of Go-Pro clones out there, but I choose a Lightdow HD. For $29 off Amazon, it came with the case and all the attachments. I am still experimenting with it, but I like it so far. It fits right in the pocket of my life jacket. I will still carry the Canon for some shots on the "big mountain" trips, but I really think I am going to like the convenience of the little knock off Go-Pro.

Say hello to my little friend!

3) Scale is everything. Pictures of mountains or anything at a distance will never even get close to doing it justice unless you get something in the foreground for scale. It doesn't matter if it is a person, a rock, or a tree branch, you need something to give the main subject depth and scale. Even though you obviously can't control them, clouds make a big difference as well. A mountain overlook with low hanging clouds or even swirling fog banks will make a much better shot than a blue clear sky ever will.

I would like to take credit, but on this early November trip in 2008 near Chattanooga, it was impossible to take a bad picture.

4) Fall foliage is really hard. No matter how good we think our cameras are, they don't come close to capturing what our eyes can. There have been more fall trips than I can count where I thought, "The colors are great. I bet I get some great shots." Then when I got home and really looked at the pictures they almost looked like they were either shot in summer or winter. To get good fall pictures, you have to not only hit the absolute peak time of the color for the trees around you (example, if you are surrounded by oaks, October won't work. If you are surrounded in hickories and maples, November won't work), but you have to hit the perfect light conditions as well. A cloudy morning or afternoon are the best. The more direct sunlight, the less likely the pictures will turn out.

This is a good example of needing to be in the right place. The fall colors only show in the right trees in the right light (October, Appalachian Trail).

5) A person will never act natural if they see you.  I love good action shots. If you line it up right, you also get a good subject to bring scale to the environment as well as capture what you are actually doing vs. posed shots. But you pretty much have to take the picture when no one is looking. That is why good action shots are from behind or above.

This image of me on of Longs Peak only looks slightly more terrifying because there is something to scale the ridiculousness to.

Anyway, with digital photography you can experiment as much as you want, and the more you experiment, the more you learn. When the moment comes though, you want to be ready. There is the old story of how Sir Edmund Hillary explained why most of the shots on the summit of Everest were of Tenzing Norgay (the Sherpa that was with Hillary)...."I wasn't sure if Tenzing knew how to work a camera. And the summit of Everest was not a good place to learn."

If It Ain't Broke....(An Ode to Old Gear)

WARNING: Every story told below pretty much sounds like Christopher Walken's presentation of the watch to young Butch in Pulp Fiction.

Anyone that knows me very well would agree that I am not a fan of spending money.  I tend to hold on to things for a long time, partly because I am kinda cheap, but also I am a pretty sentimental person.  I like it when items have a history.  I am NOT a hoarder.  I only hold onto things that I use and take care of.  Over the years I have accumulated a pretty decent collection of outdoor gear.  But if it is taking up space, I make sure that it gets used, by either me or the latest rookie participant/victim of one of my adventures.  Here are some of my favorite oldies but goodies:

1) Compass - 1996

One night on a family vacation in Gatlinburg, I bought this compass from a store called Acorns. The next day I carried it on a very long day hike with my dad up to Rocky Top and Spence Field.  This compass has stayed in my right pocket on just about every major outdoor trip since. I can count at least nine States. It has saved me from temporary directional uncertainty more times than I can count. 

2) L.L. Bean Knife Edge Pack - 1999

On my 19th birthday, I asked for this backpack. Had I ever been backpacking before?  Of course not! But I had this crazy plan to go on my first trip that December. Why would you go on your first backpacking trip in December? See the above statement about having no experience. Why L.L. Bean? Because they used to really sell a lot of legit outdoor stuff and there was always a catalog laying around my parent's house. Catalogs were these things made out of paper, and you ordered things out of them.  This backpack was with me when I survived that first ridiculously planned backpacking trip.  Although I got a better bag a few years later, this backpack became my loaner bag for any newbie that I could talk into going on a trip. And even today I continue to take this bag on any trips that involve air travel because it just has one single massive compartment (a garbage can with straps).  Most recently it went to Colorado this past summer, and it hauled the heaviest load that I have ever hiked with.

3) CamelBak - 2001

When I was a Junior in college, my friend Andy talked me into becoming a mountain biker and the epicenter of our trips was Land Between the Lakes. I bought my bike from this guy named Bob, who owned Wood and Wave near Grand Rivers, Kentucky. Bob was a retired chemical engineer that transformed an old water ski shop into a legit bike store (just never changed the name). Bob knew his customer service. When you banged up your bike, he typically fixed it for free, right there in the store. As you waited, you typically spent no less than $50. CamelBaks were relatively new then, and I had never seen one. I am sure I bought this one while Bob was truing up a wheel on one of our bikes. Besides coming along on mountain biking and trail running trips, this CamelBak has also served as a quasi day pack of sorts. It has also been on the top of Estes Cone in Colorado and Old Rag in Virginia. This past winter I got a fancy new CamelBak with additional pockets and compression straps.  But I still like my original CamelBak, it is so old that it doesn't even have a pocket for a cell phone.....oh the humanity!!!!

4) Kelty Daypack - 2004

I got this pack as a present at my grandmother's house on Christmas Eve. On the previous year's trip to Colorado, I had summitted LaPlata Peak while carrying my old backpack from high school. Over the past 14 years, this bag has had quite a life. This pack has gone to the summit of Longs Peak, Grays Peak, Torreys Peak, Mt. Evans, and Mt. Bierstadt in Colorado. It has been to the summit of Mt Hood in Oregon.  For two years I used it as a school backpack for all of my graduate school classes. It has navigated the streets of Chicago and Nassau, Bahamas. This pack has served as a beach bag, hauling towels and beach toys in Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and the Bahamas. It has spent some 16 hour days at Disney World. It has been on scuba diving trips, deep sea fishing trips, and ski boats on the Tennessee River. The side pockets are a little stretched out, but it is still going strong.

So, since I brought up the Pulp Fiction reference, the question has to be asked. If I lost any of this stuff, would I face off with Vincent Vega, Marsellus Wallace, Maynard, Zed, and the GIMP, just to get it back?  Of course I would!!!  I like my odds.

Pulp Non Fiction: All The Beauty and Truth You Can Stand for $9.99.

I have been wanting to try to write a book for a while now and the ideas for this project came along easy enough:

1) There really are very few books about the Cumberland Plateau.

2) I have a lot of adventure stories about the Cumberland Plateau, and I could mix them in with a lot of other educational facts like history and ecology lessons. Fun stuff!

3) I bet the book will pretty much just write itself.

I was right on the first two points anyway. Two years later, here we are. The really crazy thing is, because I write a detailed story about almost every hike anyway, the content was probably 50% finished before I even began.

I have had so many maps and notes spread out in the dining room that it looked like I was planning an invasion of Crossville.  There has been a cardboard box full of proofs, and drafts, and drafts of proofs, and proofs of drafts, sitting at my kitchen table for the better part of a year. I have named so many Word files and Adobe files that I am going to have to start using exponents. I have seriously worried that the mountains were going to erode into the ocean before I finished. But somehow or other, I got it done.  Here are some of the lessons I have learned along the way:

1) Yeah, it is nothing like writing a blog.  I can’t ever remember working for a month on formatting a blog post or worrying too much with sources. But I will have to give a shout out to my Amazon Overlord for making the process easier.

2) All of those authors that churn out a book or more every year….they don’t have a team of proof readers and editors working behind the scenes, they have an ARMY.  On the final and 708^th review, I had about 78 errors to correct…on a 130 page book.  Is it perfect now?  HECK NO. It is in English. It is legible. I think.

3) It ain’t about the money.  Even I sold 1,000 copies, which is ridiculously unlikely, considering the time I have put in, my profit would work out to be about the hourly minimum wage, in 1795. 

So, in short, if you are looking for a quick-read piece of travel literature that will enrich your life beyond the bounds of your wildest imagination, look no further. It’s available on Amazon (Prime too!!!) at:

https://www.amazon.com/Seem-Have-Been-There-Before/dp/1543196691

Or just search Bill Parnell. I ain’t gonna lie.  It’s pretty cool to 

see your work pop up in an Amazon search.

So if you get a chance, buy a copy, or a few dozen! And don't forget those super positive Amazon reviews! Can you do a six star rating now? I didn’t include a critical review on the back cover, but if I had to write my own it would be something like…..

“Bill Parnell has once again pushed the limits of human artistic achievement. Seem To Have Been There Before possess both the humor of Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods as well as the epic plot devices of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, all bound together with Shakespearean prose and really neat maps.”   

Reading Walden: Yes We Can!!!

Sometime in high school, every single one of us was told to turn to ___ page in our American Literature textbook and read a one or two paragraph exert from Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden”. Let’s be honest, most of us probably didn’t read it. Full disclosure, I loved high school English so much that I still read the same books for fun. But even for an appreciator of classic literature such as myself, when it came to Thoreau, I really didn’t get it. (Of course, never mind the absurdity of exposing 15 year old kids to some of the greatest works of human civilization, and then chastising them for not getting it.) So back in the fall when I read an article that discussed how Walden was Teddy Roosevelt’s and John Muir’s favorite book, I thought, “Hey, I have got to give that Thoreau another shot.” So for $6 on Amazon Prime, I got my copy of Walden and Civil Disobedience. I stuck it in my hunting gear bag, determined to read it slowly over the course of the fall while deer hunting. Because shouldn’t you read a book about being in the woods while you are actually in the woods?  By the end of the season, I still had a good 200 pages to go, so I finally sat down and finished it.  It was a little bit of a challenge in the beginning but soon I loved it so much that I would always have to have a highlighter or pen around to underline passages.  Here are a few observations for encouragement:

1) On the whole, it is actually easy to read.  Yes, there are some confusing tangents, but those are typically tied to cultural references that seemed very appropriate at the time.  He was writing this for an 1850’s audience. So imagine if you wrote something referencing the Kardashians today, wouldn’t it be confusing to a reader in 170 years?  WE HOPE TO GOD SO. 

2) Because there is really not much of a plot, it is easy to pick up and put down.  It is organized into chapters, but it really isn’t necessary to even read them in order.  Although the last part, titled Conclusion, should be read at the end. 

3) Don’t be surprised if it starts to affect your behavior. The simple living message got me to cut off my cable and cancel my satellite radio. Now sure, I still have HBO GO and unlimited cell phone data for music streaming, but I had those before!  I mean, I am not becoming a total Neanderthal.   

I will say it was funny that I made my first visit to Ikea after finishing the chapter called “Economy”. As I walked through the city of furniture, I kept thinking about Thoreau’s anti-furniture rant.  He only had three chairs, “One for solitude, two for company, three for society.”

Anyway, for $6, it is worth giving it a shot.  Stick it in your bag and bring it out when you are waiting in a deer stand, or an airport, or a doctor’s office.  At worst, you will at least look pretty smart.  At best, no matter the outcome of your initial activity, you can at least say, “Well, I did read five pages of Thoreau.” And you have won the day!

Ulra Crazy = 25K of Fun

In the long running quest to keep my pants fitting as I age, I try to run one Big Race a year.  Personally, I define a Big Race as a half marathon distance or more. I ran my first half marathon in 2003, and most years since, I have either run a Big Race, or trained for a big mountain trip.  As the time for the most recent running endeavour came along, I realized that it would be my tenth Big Race. I have previously run eight half marathons (including one trail half marathon) and one full marathon. For my tenth race, I wanted to branch out and do something different.  In the past several years, I learned to appreciate trail running. There is a decent network of trails close to my house, and any time in the woods is time well spent.  And the trail races that I have done have all been really enjoyable experiences.  It is hard to explain to someone who has just done road races, but the pace and expectations on trail is very different.  You will be walking some, and it's ok!

Of course, when you get into serious trail running, the Ultra world is where you end up.  It seems pretty intimidating.  The distance numbers are so large, you don't even have a concept of how far that really even is.  So, for my first Ultra, I choose an Ultra "lite", the 25K.  A standard full Ultra is 50K, so I think the 25K is equivalent to the half marathon, but considerably harder.  25K is 16.3 miles, which is further than I have run since my full marathon in 2005. I knew the pure time and distance of it was going to be a challenge, never mind the unpredictable trail conditions.  When it came time to pick an actual race to train for, I had two options that were close to me, The Bell Ringer at Montgomery Bell State Park (in December) and the Swamp Stomper at Meeman Shelby Forest State Park (in January). The Swamp Stomper worked in my schedule better so I started training in early November.

Of course January weather is crazy unpredictable. And of course the race ended up being held in the aftermath of a pretty bad winter storm, for West Tennessee anyway.  The trail was covered with ice and snow and the temperatures were in the teens at the start. We had to painstakingly pick our way down the steep hillsides and towards the end we were crawling on our hands and knees on the hill climbs because it was too slick to even stand up.  I finished about 45 minutes slower than I had wanted, but I finished. Here are some of my thoughts about the experience:

1) My training was pretty manageable.  In the past, I have trained for trail races by pretty much training for a half marathon and maybe running some short trail runs here and there.  This time I ran my 4 mile speed runs on the road, and all of my long runs on trail. I only got up to a 10 mile trail training run, but I know I should have topped out on a little longer distance.

2) My shoes were da-bomb (I have a license to still say that). On a lark last spring, I used my R.E.I. member coupon and dividend to get some real trail runners. I ended up getting a pair of Merrell All Out Crush.  They are not quite ultra light shoes, but there is significantly less to them than most Hoka Ones. They have soft soles with almost cleat like treads and meshy uppers. In fact I actually wore them while coaching soccer this fall and ran drills with the kids. This summer I also took them on a day hike in Colorado and was very impressed. On race day, when we were going down the steep icy slopes, the folks with Hoka Ones were sliding every which way. My steps were staying firmly planted. In fact, over the whole 16.3 miles, I only fell once. I see another pair in my not so distant future.

                                      After that one fall

3) There are still things about Ultra gear culture that I don't get.  Mainly what I don't understand are the water carrying strategies.  I was one of the few weirdos that just opted for a regular Camelbak.  Ultras aren't road races where there are water stations every mile.  This course only had four. Because we were going to be out in the woods, at some points a long way from a road, I also wanted to carry and protect my phone.  Additionally, I wanted the ability to store away any layers that I ended up shedding (even though I only ended up shedding my hat and gloves). Because most of my outdoor foundation is very oriented toward hiking and some mountain biking, I thought a Camelbak would be a smart move. I even upgraded my 18 year old Camelbak to a fancy new Camelbak Rogue, which is pretty small, but has just enough space to take care of business.  I even ran a few long runs wearing it and thought it felt great. On race day, I noticed that there were very few true hydration bladder systems in sight. Most folks were wearing vests or belts that held water bottles.  And several had the hand held bottles that are strapped to your hand the whole time. I just don't get it. I know from backpacking, the most efficient way to carry weight is as close to your back as possible. That is where you put the heavy things in your pack.  I also know that you don't want weight pulling on your shoulders, it messes up your breathing. I also know from many exhausting afternoons coming down from mountains, that you don't need any weight in your hands that isn't completely necessary. You will be surprised how just carrying trekking poles or an ice ax will wear you down. Your arms need to swing as natural with your stride as possible. So why don't they wear Camelbaks?  I guess because they slosh around, but I don't see how that is any different from the two half liter bottles you have bouncing off your cheeks from those vests. In any event, I like my Camelbak, so I guess I will just be a weirdo. It won't be the first time.

4) I think I am starting to understand the Ultra ethos. I am not gonna lie. The conditions for 2018 Swamp Stomper sucked.  And as much as I complained about the cold, if it had been warm and wet, it would have been just as miserable. The frozen cookie dough trail surface that we bounded down would have been like running through quicksand. There would have been just as many falls in the mud as there were falls on the ice, although they probably would have been less painful. If the whole point of the Ultra is to overcome adversity, then this event was a classic. I was impressed with how it was handled by the runners. Even though some people quit within the first few hundred yards, and one person was taken to the hospital, pretty much everyone else stuck to it and powered on through to the finish without much complaining.  I even noticed that I wasn't the only one smiling and laughing as we crawled along the treacherous stretches. I guess there are more crazies out there than I realized.

                                    This is the fun stuff.

So, long story short, I started out this quest just wanting to say that had done one, but I can definitely see some more Ultra crazy races in my future. I have had my fill of snow running for a long while though. 

                                 Here are some interesting ideas